


Best left unsaid

by ChocoNut



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Extended/Missing Scene, F/M, Mostly Canon Compliant, Red Tent of Feelz, Slight canon deviation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-20 06:17:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14889233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocoNut/pseuds/ChocoNut
Summary: Another one of "Jaime's thoughts" as he meets Brienne in the Tent of Feelz in Riverrun. An extended scene.





	Best left unsaid

“There is a knight who asks to meet you, my lord.” the man told Jaime “One of the Tullys.”

 _Why couldn’t the Blackfish meet him personally?_ Jaime was in two minds, whether to entertain this envoy, or not, and after a few seconds of deliberation, he decided against it.

“Tell him, I’m not interested.” Jaime waved him off “I will speak directly to the Blackfish.”

“It’s a _she_ , my lord,” the man replied “the _ugliest_ woman I have ever seen. She’s so huge that I almost mistook her for a beast--”

SMACK. Jaime’s golden hand had broken the man’s teeth, blood spreading across his face. “Do not speak about her like that.” he hissed at the soldier, seething with anger. "Do you understand?”  

The man nodded, terrified.

“Good. Now, bring her to me,” the man turned to go, when Jaime stopped him “and treat her with respect. Neither you, nor the others, will lay one finger on her.”

Jaime paced the tent, his heart beating at twice the speed. _Stupid woman! Wandering into the Lannister camp by herself_. He was worried for her safety. On the other hand, his heart leapt at the thought, that he would be meeting the wench again, after years. He was hit with mixed emotions; joy, along with the apprehension, that his feelings for Brienne might surface again _._ He dared not give these feelings a name, because, that, would mean acknowledgement on his part, and thereby, a confirmation of his affection for her.

As he mulled over these thoughts, his soldier announced Brienne’s presence and she entered the tent. Jaime gazed at her, lost in her eyes, as they exchanged pleasantries.

Brienne told him that she had successfully rescued Sansa. She had fulfilled her vow to Catelyn Stark, and Jaime, despite his surprise at her success, was proud of her. His heart filled with admiration for her, as he voiced his pride. Not that he had admired her any less earlier, but now his respect for her increased manifold. _Just respect?_ He felt a sudden urge to take her in his arms and kiss her. _Now, that was not respect, was it? What was he thinking?_ he chided himself.

All the time they were conversing, Jaime wondered why Brienne had come to see him. She was here on behalf of the Blackfish, he assumed. As they started arguing about Sansa, and the Blackfish, Jaime’s frustration increased. He knew, his time with Brienne was limited, and he didn’t want to spend it arguing about politics.

“You’re a knight, Ser Jaime,” Brienne said, her trust in him, evident in her voice. “I know, there is honour in you. I’ve seen it myse--”

“I’m a Lannister” he interrupted her, expecting her to ask him to return Riverrun to the Tullys. “Don’t ask me to betray my own house.” he finished, his heart, sinking at the hard, cold fact that they were enemies.

Brienne went on to explain her intention. She requested Jaime to take Riverrun without bloodshed, assuring him, that she would convince the Blackfish to surrender, with Jaime granting them safe passage to Winterfell in return.

Jaime was torn between admiration and exasperation, at her confidence. _Did she really think, she could persuade the Blackfish?_ He was, however, willing to let her try, and agreed.

_He would have given her anything she asked!_

“You have my word.” Jaime assured her. Brienne immediately believed him, like she always did. He saw it in her eyes. He was reminded of their goodbye at Harrenhal. She had believed him, then too, without question. _She was the only person in the world, who trusted him unconditionally, trusted the Kingslayer, the Oathbreaker._ His heart almost burst with inexplicable emotions at this knowledge.

As Brienne made to leave, she remembered something, and loosened her belt. Jaime, knowing what she was about to do, shook his head in disbelief. _Didn’t the wench understand the meaning of a gift?_ The woman really was impossible.

Brienne handed Oathkeeper to him, her eyes shining. “You gave it to me for a purpose.” she said “I’ve achieved that purpose.”

 _She really was returning it to him!_ Jaime’s heart broke.

“It’s yours.” he said softly “It will always be yours.” As he refused to accept the sword, he realized with a pang, _was he really talking about the sword? Or_ \--

He snapped out of this thoughts, seeing her walking to the entrance of the tent, and followed her. And then she halted, abruptly turning towards him. His heart raced at her sudden proximity.

 _Ser Jaime,_  she called him. After all that they had been through together, after all these years, he was amused, that she still addressed him by his title. He couldn't help giving her a teasing smirk as he replied, “Yes, _lady Brienne_?” deliberately stressing on ‘lady’.

Brienne reminded him that they were on opposite sides, and that she would have to fight him, if need be, and as she spoke, her eyes were bright, as if hiding unshed tears. He could see a variety of emotions in them: sadness,hurt, horror at the thought of meeting him in a battlefield. She seemed torn between her faith and trust in Jaime, and her loyalty to the Starks. The long, heartbroken look that she gave him, made him realize that he felt the same. _Hurt, and horror at the prospect that they might have to, one day, fight each other._

As Brienne was walking away from the tent, with a sudden ache in his heart, Jaime realized the truth.

 _He was in love with her!_ Hells, he didn’t know since when, probably from the time he had said goodbye to her at Harrenhal. His heart belonged to her, and she had become a part of his soul. Ever since, he’d been fighting his feelings, controlling his emotions, masking them with what _he thought_ was love for Cersei.

But now, he had to tell her, for this may be the last time he ever saw her, and she had to know.

Jaime went after her, catching up as she was about to mount her horse, with Pod by her side. She looked surprised to see him.

“Brienne, I want a word with you,” he panted, looking at Pod “in private.”

Brienne nodded to Pod, who left. She stood there, waiting, a questioning look in her eyes.

“Brienne, I…” Jaime was at a loss for words. He was a man of action, and complicated things, like expressing matters of the heart, were new to him.

Brienne looked at him, slightly apprehensive now.

He felt a bout of nervousness wash over him, as he stammered “I… I came here to… tell you something, my lady.”

“Yes, Ser Jaime?” she said, narrowing her eyes.

Jaime was unsure, how to proceed “I want to tell you that… that I--” he suddenly froze, as he thought of the consequences of his confession.

He had never been one to think of consequences. Act first, think later, was what he always believed in. But, this time, his head told him to think before acting. _Unless he was terribly mistaken, Brienne too reciprocated his feelings._ At least, he hoped she did.

He also knew how Cersei felt about Brienne. If he happened to declare his love for Brienne, he realized, how dangerous it might prove for her. Knowing Cersei’s possessive nature, she might even have Brienne killed, and that notion filled him with dread.

 _No, he couldn’t tell Brienne that he loved her,_ he decided with a heavy heart.

“I came to tell you, to take care of yourself.” Jaime finally ended up saying. “The Lannisters are your enemy, and it was unwise of you to come here all by yourself.” he continued, his voice strained “I don’t trust my men. So get the hell out of here, as soon as you can.”

“Thank you for your concern, Ser Jaime, I’ll be fine.”

 _Was it disappointment in her eyes?_ As she rode away from him, for the second time in his life, she turned, and looked back at him, just as she did, the last time. And just like the previous time, the longing and ache was evident in her eyes.

Maybe another day, maybe another time, if things were different… He could only hope.

++++++++++

While fleeing in the boat with Pod, Brienne recalled her meeting with Jaime. _Take care of yourself_ , he told her, but the look in his eyes was intense, almost filled with--she couldn’t tell for sure. _Was he yearning for her, just as she had been, in her heart of hearts, pining for him?_ _Was he about to tell her, what she had thought he would?_ She could never know now.

Almost as if by instinct, she turned around and looked up. There he was, standing alone at the ramparts, watching her. Despite the darkness, she could make out the devastated and heartbroken look on his face. He nodded, giving her the tiniest of waves, with his right hand.

She waved back at him, realizing, that they could never bridge this distance between them. They would never meet again, and even if they did, it would be on a battlefield, against each other.

 _He probably did reciprocate her feelings._ Even if he did, there could never be anything between them, given their circumstances. He was a Lannister, and belonged to Cersei, Brienne realized with a pang, and she was sworn to the Starks.

But, maybe another day, maybe another time, if things were different... She could only hope.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please share your feedback :)


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